Insecure
by Miss Dumbledarcy
Summary: The distress of Lily's friend leaves her feeling in need of reassurance.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**Who Says - Selena Gomez**

**Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars**

**Mean - Taylor Swift**

The rain was pattering against the windows of Gryffindor Tower, as the seventh years were getting ready for bed. The mess of the room varied based on which of the five areas it was judged on. On the one hand, there was Annie's, which was pretty much a mound of socks, pants, bras, books and old sweet wrappers, but contrasting completely, there was Julia's, where everything was order meticulously in alphabetical, size or colour order. The girls themselves were as different as chalk and cheese.

One girl, Natalia, wore a long, old-fashioned nightie, with silk sleeves and done up buttons. She was sitting by the window, tracing the droplets of rain as they ran down the cool glass. Every so often, another girl would look up in concern for their dorm mate, Julia from her book or Annie and Sam from their game of wizards chess. The fifth member of their dorm, Lily, was showering, after what seemed to have been a rather more gruelling Quidditch practice than had been expected. The give-aways had been the way her sopping wet scarlet Gryffindor robes had clung to her all over, the flushed look on her face and stomp that her footsteps made on the floor.

She stumbled in now, her red hair hanging in loose wet curls, just managing to reach the fluffy border of the white towel. Lily changed quickly into an oversized Ravenclaw Quidditch shirt, inhaling the scent of her boyfriend, which never seemed to fade, and wrapped her hair up in a turban on her head. Satisfied, she glanced around the dorm, receiving smiles as she did so. When she noticed Natalia, the crease between her eyebrows appeared, and her smile wavered.

"Nat, what's wrong?" she asked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Julia shaking her head frantically at her.

"Nothing," said Natalia.

"Well, that's blatantly not true," sighed Lily.

"I don't want to talk about it, Lily," snapped her friend, not looking at the other girls. Through the reflection in the glass window, they could see her glum expression.

"Alright," said Lily, holding her hands up. "I suppose whatever it is, it calls for chocolate."

"Any excuse," muttered Julia, but she was smiling. Lily reached into her trunk and pulled out a brown box with intricate engraving on the front.

"Doesn't that say Albus?" asked Sam, leaning over the box.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," replied Lily grinning cheekily. Julia rolled her eyes but Sam and Annie both laughed.

The mahogany box opened with the swish of a wand, revealing an inside crammed with Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, Toffee Chew Chew Trains, and more sweets than could be counted. Annie's eyes were like saucers.

"Right, miserable one first," said Lily, practically skipping to Natalia, holding the box in one outstretched arm.

"It won't help, Lily."

"Chocolate helps everything."

"Well, not this time."

"Are you sure I can't tempt you?"

"No."

"Merlin, Nat, what's wrong?" said Annie.

"You can tell us," added Lily.

Natalia sighed, but she turned and looked into four pairs of concerned eyes. Her own blue ones watered a little. Lily rubbed her arm reassuringly, and settled on the floor by the ledge. The others followed suit, gazing at Natalia.

"What is it?" asked Lily again, quietly.

"Matthew," began Natalia. "He said…he said that I'd gained weight…and that he didn't find me as attractive anymore."

She snivelled. There was a silence.

"I know, I'm pathetic," said their friend, trying to laugh weakly but collapsing into sobs. A general exclamation of 'no, you're not's filled the room.

"I hope you told him where to go," said Annie, biting off the head of her chocolate frog roughly, with a little too much enjoyment.

"You haven't put on weight," said Lily, frowning. "You're beautiful anyway; you could eat this entire box of chocolates and still be one of the prettiest girls in the school."

"Yeah," agreed Julia. "Why would he say something like that? What an idiot."

"It doesn't even matter," said Sam. "If you've ended it, who cares what he thinks?"

There was a ringing silence in the room, as the possibility entered the heads of the other four girls, pretty much simultaneously.

"You did…er…you did end it, didn't you?"

Nat shook her head, tears coming out her eyes again.

"Why not?" demanded Lily.

"Because," wailed Nat. "What if I never find someone else?"

"You will," said Julia and Sam automatically.

"You're amazing, Nat. Who wouldn't want to date you? You're clever and funny and pretty and you are always so happy and caring. Matthew doesn't deserve you."

"Yeah, why date someone who doesn't appreciate that?"

"It's not like it's unusual," said Nat, quietly. "I'm sure every guy has something they don't like about their girlfriend."

"I'm not sure they do," frowned Annie.

"Maybe they just don't say it out loud," suggested Nat, her lip was trembling a little. How desperately she wanted to believe it was showing.

"I don't know," said Annie.

"I bet Lysander has things he'd like to change about Lily, and Austin has the same for Sam. They just don't say it, because their scared."

"I don't know," said Annie, again. "I still think he's an idiot."

"You deserve better," said Lily.

"Well, thanks guys," said Nat. "Thanks for trying."

/\/\/

Lily couldn't sleep that night. She punched her pillow again and again, trying to get it into that perfect position. Perfect.

_I bet Lysander has things he'd like to change about Lily._

_He'd like to change about Lily._

_Change about Lily._

_Change about Lily._

_Change abou-_

Lily couldn't take it. She got up to go to the bathroom. While she was there, she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Did Lysander wish her legs were longer? Her hair was darker? Her stomach was flatter?

She examined every part of herself carefully. Sure enough, she could pick out things she didn't like. She remembered one Christmas, at the Burrow, when her Uncle Percy had told his wife to watch how much pudding she ate. Audrey's temper had flared, and most of her pudding had gone into Uncle Percy's face. They'd made up later of course, when Uncle Percy had told his wife that she was perfect and that he had been joking. Plus he'd been apologising for about an hour.

But was Nat right?

Did every guy want their girlfriend to be different?

'Only the idiotic ones,' Lily told herself fiercely. She wished she believed that.

/\/\/

"You look tired, Lily," commented Lysander as he slid into the spot next to her in Transfiguration that morning.

"Is that just a polite way of saying I look awful?"

"What?" said Lysander, looking confused. "No, I was just checking you were okay…"

"Oh sorry," said Lily, biting her lip.

/\/\/

Sitting down for lunch, Lysander stole a piece of bread from Lily's plate.

"Oi," she said.

"Sorry love, I didn't think you wanted it," he said, pushing his sandy blonde hair back and grinning lazily at her,

"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Lily.

"What?"

"Never mind."

/\/\/

"Lily, what is the matter?" asked Lysander. Their lessons had finished for the day, and Lily had barged past everyone to get outside. The grounds smelt fresh after the rain from the night before, and there was a chill to the air, which meant that everyone else had chosen to stay in the comforting warmth that was the castle.

"Nothing."

"Lily, you've snapped at me twice today. I don't even know why. What did I do wrong? I'm sure I didn't mean to upset you." He looked quite distressed as he ran a hand through his hair again, his mouth in a frown.

"It's nothing."

"If it's bothering you, it's not nothing."

"Merlin, just leave it," shouted Lily. To her surprise, instead of stepping away, Lysander stepped closer.

"What is it?" he breathed.

"Lysander," growled Lily. He stood there and watched her. Their eyes met the determination of each adolescent dancing in the coloured irises.

"Alright," said Lily, standing back looking frustrated. "What do you want to change about me?"

"What?"

"I won't be offended, Ly. Tell me what you would change about me if you had the chance."

"You're crazy," said Lysander shaking his head.

"And you wish I wasn't?"

"No! I just, I don't understand where this has come from."

Lily let it all out then, what Matthew had said to Nat, what Nat had said to them, what had been on her mind since that moment last night. Lysander watched and listened to her in silence.

"So what would you change about me? I'd really rather know," she said at the end.

"Nothing."

"Look at me now," said Lily. "Would you prefer it if my legs were longer? Or my hips were wider? Is my laugh annoying?"

"Lily," he said.

"Look at me now, and tell me."

He was silent for a moment. "Well, you're mouth," he said.

"What about it?" asked Lily, her heart sinking.

"It's not smiling," he said, and with that he grabbed her and pulled her into a soft kiss. Lily laughed when she pulled away.

"That's much better," said her boyfriend happily. "Now let's go back to the castle." He wrapped his fingers around hers.

"You really think I'm okay like this?"

"Lily, you're not okay like that. You're better than okay. You're amazing."

/\/\/

"You were right," said Nat that night, as she entered the dorm.

"Where have you been young lady?" asked Annie, a strict mother tone entering her voice. "And I know, we're always right. What was it this time?"

"I do deserve better."

"Did you just-?" asked Lily.

Nat nodded.

"Thank Merlin," came the general exclamation around the room. Nat laughed.

"You're going to be fine, you know," said Lily.

"I know," said Nat. "The next one will be better."

"There's no rush."

"I know," said Nat, "I'd rather wait for a bit anyway. Love myself a little more…now, where is that box of chocolate?"

**Anyone who doesn't think you're good enough, is just to stupid to see it.**


End file.
